The Customer Is Always Right? Why Hospitality Is Pushing Back
For over a century, “the customer is always right” has been the unquestioned law of hospitality. It sounds like good service. In practice, it has quietly become something uglier: a licence for a small minority of customers to treat staff in ways they would never accept anywhere else. Now, finally, the industry is pushing back. Across New Zealand and around the world, venues are drawing a line, and the reaction has been fierce on both sides. So let us talk honestly about what that old phrase really meant, where it went wrong, and why protecting your staff is no longer optional.
The Phrase Never Meant What You Think
Here is the part almost everyone gets wrong. “The customer is always right” was never meant to be a blank cheque. The slogan is usually traced to retail pioneers Harry Gordon Selfridge and Marshall Field in the early 1900s, and as historians note, the actual working principle was closer to “assume the customer is right until it is plain beyond all question that they are not.” It was a policy about taking complaints seriously in an era of rampant retail dishonesty, not a rule that customers could behave however they liked. Somewhere over the last century, a sensible idea about trusting your customers curdled into an excuse to let them abuse the people serving them.
“There is a world of difference between a customer who is unhappy and a customer who is abusive. The first deserves your best service. The second forfeits the right to it.”The line the industry is finally drawing
How Bad Has It Actually Got
The scale of the problem is worse than most diners realise. As a 2026 study of hospitality workers found, 53% had witnessed bullying or harassment in the workplace in the previous two years. Broader industry research has found around 60% of restaurant workers report emotional abuse from customers, and nearly 80% say their mental health has suffered as a result. This is not the occasional bad night. It is a steady, grinding pattern that a significant share of the workforce simply accepts as part of the job, and it is one of the biggest reasons people are walking away from hospitality for good.
And it is not just harsh words. In New Zealand, the incidents have turned physical. A Tauranga café worker reportedly ended up with a black eye after a customer threw a ceramic mug at her face over a perceived one-dollar overcharge. Another had a hot Americano thrown at her over a simple misunderstanding about her coffee. These are not abstract statistics. They are real people, often young, often on their first jobs, being assaulted for doing their work. When it gets to this point, “the customer is always right” is not a service philosophy. It is a safety failure.
Why This Is a Business Problem, Not Just a Moral One
Even setting aside the basic ethics of not letting your staff be abused, there is a hard commercial case for drawing a line. Customer aggression is now cited as one of the top drivers of the hospitality staffing shortage. People have options, and in a tight labour market they will not stay in a job where they are regularly mistreated. Every worker who quits because you failed to protect them is a recruitment cost, a training cost, and a hit to the quality and consistency of your service. It is the same expensive churn we wrote about in our piece on reducing labour costs without cutting staff: losing good people is one of the most costly things that can happen to a venue, and tolerating abuse is a fast way to lose them.
There is a service argument too, and it is counterintuitive. Venues that have introduced clear zero-tolerance policies often report that morale rises, burnout falls, and staff actually deliver better service to the vast majority of customers who are perfectly lovely. When your team knows you have their back, they relax, they engage, and they give more. Protecting staff from the worst customers is how you deliver a better experience to the best ones. The abusive minority were never your real customers anyway.
But Where Is the Line?
This is where it gets genuinely tricky, and where fair-minded people can disagree. Pushing back on abuse cannot become an excuse for thin-skinned service or for dismissing legitimate complaints. A customer who is frustrated that their meal was wrong, their booking was lost, or their coffee was cold is not being abusive. They are being a customer, and they deserve patience, an apology, and a fix. The skill, and it is a real skill, is telling the difference between someone who is upset about a genuine problem and someone who is being cruel to another human being. The first is the job. The second is not.
- Frustrated their order was wrong
- Upset about a long wait or a lost booking
- Disappointed and saying so, firmly but civilly
- Asking for a refund or a fix
- Having a bad day but still treating staff as people
- Yelling, swearing at, or demeaning staff
- Personal insults, slurs or threats
- Throwing objects or any physical aggression
- Harassment of any kind
- Refusing to stop after being asked
What Good Looks Like
Have a clear, written policy. Staff should know exactly what counts as unacceptable and what they are empowered to do about it. Uncertainty is what leaves people frozen in the moment.
Give staff permission to step away. The single most powerful change is letting a worker end an abusive interaction and hand it to a manager, without fear of being blamed for “losing a customer”.
Back your team in the moment. When you side with an abusive customer to keep the peace, you tell your staff they are on their own. Visible support in the moment is everything.
Set the tone before service starts. A simple, warm sign asking guests to treat staff with respect quietly signals your values and pre-empts a lot of trouble.
Still fix genuine problems fast. Zero tolerance for abuse must go hand in hand with generous, prompt care for legitimate complaints. The two are not in conflict, they are the whole point.
The Bottom Line
The best restaurants in the world are not the ones where customers can do whatever they like. They are the ones where both customers and staff want to be. Retiring the literal reading of “the customer is always right” is not anti-customer, it is pro-hospitality, because genuine hospitality was never meant to include being abused. Looking after your people is not a soft nicety sitting off to the side of the business. It is the business. That belief, that a well-supported team is the true foundation of any venue, sits at the heart of what we are building at Pip.
So we will put it to you. Has “the customer is always right” had its day, or is there still something worth holding onto in it? And where would you draw the line between a difficult customer and an unacceptable one? Whether you run a venue, work the floor, or simply eat out, we would genuinely like to hear where you land.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where does “the customer is always right” come from?
The phrase is usually credited to retail pioneers Harry Gordon Selfridge and Marshall Field in the early 1900s. It was originally about taking customer complaints seriously in an era of widespread retail dishonesty, closer to “assume the customer is right until proven otherwise”, not a rule that customers could behave however they wished.
Can a restaurant refuse to serve an abusive customer?
Yes. Businesses can generally refuse service to customers who are abusive, threatening or violent, provided the refusal is not based on unlawful discrimination. Increasingly, venues have formal policies allowing staff to end abusive interactions and ask a customer to leave.
Is challenging “the customer is always right” bad for business?
Not when done well. Protecting staff from genuine abuse while still caring for legitimate complaints tends to improve morale, reduce costly staff turnover, and lift service for the majority of good customers. The abusive minority rarely represent valuable, loyal business.
What is the difference between a difficult customer and an abusive one?
A difficult customer is unhappy about a real problem and expresses it firmly but civilly; they deserve patience and a fix. An abusive customer yells, insults, threatens, harasses or becomes physical. The first is part of the job; the second crosses a line no worker should have to accept.
